FEAR

The fear of something in life is like a cigar on your mouth ,you can feel the presence but you cannot eloborate the situation in vivid ways because you get confusions of your sixth sense .There are no terms to define the questions aroused in mind as they relate to unconscious levels of human mind but the religious references from different contexts also provide certain meanings in such explanation.I do not have the exact idea or shape of my dreams which relocate the things which are unfulfilled in my daily life.From Anton Chekov to Demon all the things are rearranged in uncertain orders.I told momma different features which made me confused throughout the day and nights.A girl was cooking meat and the same day the death of an aunt made me confused was my imagination working clearly or not.Still ,I had dream interpretations like blowing in the rain where the watery sky had a movement for twenty minutes,the girl with ornaments danced in University locations and the two boys sitting in house at two corners where I was using handpumps .Lastly a girl was peeping at me when I did the vomiting at her yard  near handspumps.Such fearful sights are the inherent symptoms of paranormal thoughts prevalent in my mind and try to inquire the answer too .

bed part-3

Bed: Part: 3

Life has become full of uncertainty. Desires have been option of the time. I try to seek the various answers from time but they remain unanswerable. These questions keep on teasing my consciousness and I keep on fighting with them. Its nine o’clock and I have been lying on the bed thinking about many things .Firstly I tried to focus on my examination which is on next month but the eyes of someone has been following me innerly.I remember those  eyes which were very  beautiful .Although me not a masculine in gender but sometimes I try to do revert things.

In evening, I just tried to open the laptop and searched the chat option. He appeared on it .Even the TV   was open, the sequence of emotional atyachar was going on, and I turned towards the laptop. There was   a message for me. “I know you. Do you know me?”I kept on looking at it and shut down the computer.

I closed the eyes and tried to remember someone. He was man of sixty with turban in his head with fair complexion. His eyes were very small. He kept on sitting on AC and began to preach gurubani and the knowledge what ever he had in his mind. I really liked the way he spoke .He is humorous in nature and very social for all the staffs in the office. I liked his company. Suddenly once he got his leg broken .I could not believe but it was true. How miserable condition is there for an active person to lie on the bed. I really missed him. Sometimes we want someone who keeps on guiding may be in form of guru, religion, book or voice and his existence always fulfils such necessity.

I think I am in love. My mother liked some one to marry me and she was describing in such way I began to like him. Is it affection, attraction, love or just an illusion I could not decided. “He would be calling this week, be prepared” the voice touched my spirit. Walking in mid of crowd I tried to seek various voices but never found the liked one which my inner heart wanted. But I wanted to meet someone who is unknown to me .A girl of eighteen always   hunted the love from her eyes and my eyes were doing same.

Darja khule dekhum jare

Karum tare biya

Amar bau sajaye liye jabo

Tapoor mathe diye.

Aha re.

(I will marry the person whom I will see after opening the door and I will take my wife)

The song played in the radio attracted my mind and I started to think how marriage could compel two strangers to be united. Was it possible to love someone for a long time that is not up brought with you in the same house where you were born? I had seen my mom dad always running after their works. They were in same house but still rarely get time to converse with each other. Does love exist here? I do not know.

Suddenly there was knock in the door, there was a lady asking some sugar to borrow. She was tall lady with lean body. I gave her salute. Her three daughters and one son in total stood for her family. She seemed very talkative and very interested to observe, analyse and examine things in the way she like. Her eyes never departed from me .I realized the peculiar feeling when she used to observe me. Her elder daughter was little bit mentally challenged and deaf but very laborious .Sometimes she used to speak me if necessary with calm voice. I really liked her presence around me but why I do not know.

She told me that SLC result published. I also replied her that any of the friends had been requested to mail them the result but I was unable to fulfill their demands. My eyes ran for social sites through which I tried to contact them. But in vain, there was network error in necessity. The lights on modem kept on fluctuating.Anyways we should congratulate to everybody who passed it. The darkness of midnight compelled me to turn towards bed leaving all tasks. Sometimes our life turns to be battle and announcement of such result make us relief from the anxiety of loss, as we do not want to loose anything life although it remains unavoidable.